Feb 20 2013
Another book for my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
I decided to futz around with the obsessive, spoiled billionaire who buys women for his playthings then falls for them:
Sometimes the best things in life are free and right under our noses. All we have to do is look down.
Jane Ash delivers flowers and gifts, makes reservations, and arranges beauty salon, waxing and OB-GYN appointments–all in a day’s work for her very spoiled and debauched billionaire boss and his string of spicy numbers. Jane’s job description also includes cleaning up tearful messes and other loose ends when the “companion contracts” end. If it weren’t for the secret pranks of swapping donkey-sized condoms for her employer’s average-sized stash, she’d lose her ever-loving mind, despite the healthy paycheck.
Christian Gideon never thought he’d grow weary of the fairer sex’s charms, but after giving the heave ho to number thirty-one, that seems to be the case. He’s had women of all hair colors, heights, weights and temperaments, and has tried every position in the Kama Sutra, twice! Perhaps he should let that annoying girl Friday of his go if he can’t keep her busy. Heaven knows she must be missing doling out her usual sneers and digs.
When Jane’s step-sister, Isabelle, bullies her way into an introduction, Christian seizes upon a new form of entertainment. Putting Jane at Isabelle’s imperious beck and call–at least for a few weeks–is the best entertainment he’s had in a long time. Until Jane finally snaps and flees, leaving only a single Easy Spirit pump, size 12, behind. Will Christian be able to find his girl Friday once he realizes that the most important spice in his life has never been anything more exotic than plain table salt?
Oh sigh…this one isn’t all that regrettable, I’m afraid. I could actually see myself writing this as a Naughty Fairy Tale. Stick with me though. I’ve already done next week’s regrettable as a guest post, and it’s quite da bomb, if I say so myself.
Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.