Regrettable Book of the Week™ — "The Mommy Swap"
Today I have the eleventh in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
No idea where this one came from. I shopped all the images together first then concocted a ridiculous story to fit second. This one had two different titles–Tempting her BFF and Babysitting Mr. Miller–before I settled on The Mommy Swap. I really liked my Babysitting Mr. Miller concept so that may be a future Regrettable. But for today, we’re spoofing Wife Swap, the reality television show.
First the tagline:
Reality IS stranger than fiction.
Prunella and Charles Waltham live in Greenwich Village, NY. Prunella spends most of her time shuttling their only child Zhean-Rhennaix to the finest schools in New York City–modeling lessons on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays, horseback riding on Tuesdays, post-cubism art lessons on Wednesdays and the Marionette Masters’ Academy on Fridays. Her world revolves around improving her daughter’s chances in the Little Miss Hissy Fit Beauty Pageant.
Delroy and June Miller and their two kids, Travis and Bessie, live in Coon Booger Hills, Arkansas. June grows the family’s food, makes their clothing and home schools both children to keep them on God’s righteous path and away from the Evil-doers in the neighboring city of Clinton, population 1000.
When the two couples agree to participate in the hit show, “Mommy Swap,” the producers are sure they have a controversial match up on their hands.
But no one expects Charles to run off with his secretary the second Prunella boards her flight to Arkansas.
No one expects June to take to stage mommery like a skeeter to a sugar-coated toddler.
No one expects the Miller kids to lock Mrs. Waltham and their father in the storm cellar for a week so they can play “Satan’s game” of Angry Birds on her iPad.
And no one expects a country bumpkin like Delroy and a trophy wife like Prunella to fall in love.
Everyone expects life to return to normal after the show ends. Everyone is wrong.
Is that show Wife Swap still on? Hmm. Any-who, this one is a formula for disaster with infidelity, bratty kids, toddler beauty pageants and a Bible thumper.
Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so. I’ve got a couple of guest contributors warming up on the sidelines. More in the months ahead. Cheers.
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
I just about peed myself laughing at the description of this book! This has to be the best so far SNORT!
Heh-heh, this was one of my faves, too! Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
OMG this is PRICELESS. LOVE it. 🙂
THanks, Aimee! You don’t know how close I came to using Lizard Lick, NC instead of Coon Booger Hills, AR. LOL
Hilarious again, my dear.
Thank you, dahlink! 🙂
That’s really sad.. because .. I wanted to read it. So funny! I agree with Aimee, priceless!
It would be a rather silly thing, wouldn’t it? I can just picture crazy old June as a stage mom at The Little Miss Hissy Fit pageant. Thanks, Sheryl! 🙂
Omg that’s just too funny. Oh and it must be a Christmas miracle because it’s snowing on your blog…lol
The WordPress peeps give us snow right after Thanksgiving, if you turn it on. I always do. Glad you go a giggle this week.
I agree with Sheryl, I want to read it. It’s kinda like Honey Boo Boo – you just can’t get enough.
My favorite part of the blurb is how the kids locked her away so they can play Satan’s Game, Angry Birds. BWHAHAHAHA!
I need to see this Angry Birds game. I hear it mentioned all the time but have yet to discover what’s so addictive about it.