Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “The Widow’s Last Laugh”
Today I have the eighteenth in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
I was exchanging comments on Goodreads with Tasmanian Jill and June Gray about Bared to You by Sylvia Day. Eventually the comments turned to the plethora of billionaire romances and how they were getting a little overdone. June and Jill said they wanted to read a love story where the heroine was the billionaire instead of the hero. I thought that sounded like a great idea so long as the heroine isn’t some drop dead gorgeous cougar who looks ten years younger. That, my friends, was the genesis of today’s Regrettable:
Money can’t buy love, but it can make a nice down payment.
Regina Dingler married for love. Too bad her husband married for money. When the philandering dirtbag dies, a succession of mistresses emerge, each with a sordid tale, an open palm, and a hotshot attorney. No point in buying the bimbos’ silence because apparently everyone except Regina has known all along. The last thing she wants, however, is pity and certainly not at her dead husband’s funeral.
For Lot O’Toole playing arm candy to a wealthy widow is just another day’s work for a top shelf gigolo. If some old gal wants to thumb her nose at a few of her hens, that’s fine with him. She’s paying top dollar for his time and any other parts of him she might require. He’ll just remind himself to “think of England” even though he lives in Phoenix.
When the mistresses join forces to challenge the late Mr. Dingler’s will and pre-nuptial agreement, Lot comes to Regina’s rescue. He is pleasantly surprised to discover the wicked sense of humor his client has been hiding beneath her plain Jane exterior. Soon, thoughts of England turn into thoughts of E ticket rides at Disneyland. But can Lot ever offer the one part of himself he’s kept a virgin all these years–his heart? Will Regina ever be able to trust a man to love her for anything but her money? And what of the mistresses? Will there be a special edition The Bachelor reality show produced just for them?
Pretty Woman with a penis. Oh my! I could totally see myself writing this with a heaping dose of snark. Some day…maybe.
Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
Ok, this is the one I want you, no need you to write! Love it but now Ill have Roy Orbinson singing in my head all day.
Lot O’Toole *snort*
heh-heh, got Lot O’Toole from that porn name site I sent you. I couldn’t resist.
LOL! Love this one. I’d also love to read it! Great job.
Thanks, Terri! I have more ideas than sense or time. LOL
I look forward to the regrettable book of the week every week, thanks for making me smile. Carin
Aww, you’re so nice, Carin. I love making them, especially when I get regular commenters like yourself who offer encouragement. I’ll just keep ’em comin’ then. 🙂
You could probably make this work 🙂
Probably could…one day, who knows? 🙂 Thanks for the visit, Jennifer!
Argh…I wish I had more time and/or didn’t have the day job. sigh…maybe some day.
LOL @ Dingler and O’Toole! That made me thing of Austin Powers and Alotta Vagina. And hey, if she has the money I say go for Gigol-O-Tool 😉
LOL…I forgot about Alotta Vagina. I’m still a huge fan of Bond’s Pussy Galore. Now Sir Ian knew how to name ’em! good to see ya, Michelle
I would read it! This idea is a really good one, actually!
Thanks, June! Sometimes even the Regrettable books have a kernel of not so bad. 🙂