Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “Out of Circulation”

Today I have the nineteenth in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

Today I’m going for a tongue-in-cheek cozy mystery.


The Tagline:

Hooking and booking a lawman has never been so deadly!

The blurb:

Someone’s killed Harden Long, the meanest man in Beaver City–with a book, in the library–and the murder weapon was checked out to Verity Fausse! What’s an amateur sleuth to do when all eyes are looking at her, including those of Beaver City’s most tenacious lawman? Invite the good detective to tea, that’s what!

Detective Lance Thrust has always suspected the comely Miss Fausse to be one of the devil’s own–always poking her pert button nose into other people’s business and making him look like a fool. Though no one plans on attending the curmudgeonly Long’s funeral, no murder should go unpunished. Lance is determined to solve this case without Verity’s interference. Should be easy since she is suspect number one! Once Thrust and and his new partner Sergeant Ben Dover tag team her, she’ll be squealing her confession in no time.

Verity knows Detective Thrust and Sergeant Dover want to do more than eat her tea cakes when they come calling after the funeral. She’s ready for their rough interrogation but has a few questions of her own, like where exactly was the strong and silent sergeant on the night old man Long was murdered? And why does Ben have paper cuts all over his face and fingers? Verity is going to have to use all her cunning and a few unorthodox maneuvers to gain Lance’s trust and lay bare Ben’s motives without arousing his potentially deadly suspicions.

Okay, not my best one, I know, but I was kind of swamped doing some last minute spit polishing of a manuscript and trying my darndest to finally finish another one. Busy weekend that extended into Monday and Tuesday. But I am rather proud of the innuendo and Verity herself is just so perfect for the cover! I kind of gave away whodunnit in the blurb, too, didn’t I? Bad, and most regrettable. LOL

Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.


Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

See all prior Regrettable Books of the Week HERE