Regrettable Book of the Week™ — "The Delivery Man Always Comes Twice"

February 13, 2013

Another book for my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

In my day job, I help return injured workers to gainful employment. So…drawing from that somewhat and thumbing my nose at the bossy billionaire lovers to give the working stiffs their due, we have:

The Tagline:

COD beats DOD.

The blurb:

Online shopping junkie, Bunny Dick has never ogled a pair of Blahniks she didn’t like…or Choos or Laboutins or Chanels. Thanks to one-click shopping and a generous sugar daddy, life is nearly perfect.

Due to a nearly fatal accident and its resultant amnesia, Nathan Head has no idea who he is or where he’s from. Since his recovery, he’s been working as a delivery man for Zippy Express. He takes pride in his work, shows up on time, and always has a joke and a ready smile for his patrons. Life is nearly perfect.

When one of Nathan’s deliveries to Bunny interrupts a home invasion in process, Nathan scares off the intruder and offers comfort to his traumatized patron. Bunny sees her hero in a whole new light. Gone is the simple man with the groan-worthy knock-knock jokes. Hello beefy biceps, washboard abs and squeezable buttocks!

But Big Papa might not be so indulgent if he finds out Bunny’s been hopping on another man’s pogo stick. If it’s attached to an ex-employee who survived the hit meant to eliminate a suspected FBI informant, her choice could be fatal.

Will Nathan’s memory return in time to prevent another attempt on his life? Will Bunny’s shoe fetish keep her under Big Papa’s thumb or will the winsome shopaholic realize that sometimes the best gifts come in small packages?

OK, I did NOT shop anything on Nathan in the picture. You just have a dirty mind (or I do for even making this comment)!

Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.

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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.