Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “Carried Away”

Another book for my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

OK, this is my second attempt at writing this post. Sadly ALL my work of Sunday was eaten by something on the web. I think my web hosting company restored an archive of my blog from when they migrated me to a new server on the 6th because interestingly ALL changes to my blog since then, including spam I deleted and new spam that came in, have reappeared and disappeared, respectively. BIG. FAT. HEAVY. SIGH. But speaking of heavy, let’s go ahead and have a look see at this week’s Regrettable, my second, very fast rewrite.

The Tagline:

She ain’t heavy…she’s my wife.

The blurb:

Gunnar Riker and his wife are the favorites to win the Wife Carrying World Championships in Sonkajärvi, Finland this year…that is until Gunnar’s wife leaves him for the husband of last year’s winning couple. After training for years to win the coveted prize, what’s a star athlete to do?

Tap his American ex-patriot neighbor, Camille Greene, to fill in, that’s what!

Camille might have noticed her hunky next door neighbor  in “that” way once or twice but never put any further thought into it. She doesn’t date married men, thank you very much, even big, muscular Finns with attractive bulges. But when Gunnar invites her over for a reindeer steak and announces he’s reclaimed his bachelor status, she’s intrigued. When he asks her to be his partner in the wife carrying competition, Camille is flabbergasted. She has two issues: 1. she isn’t married to Gunnar and 2. no way will they have a shot since her healthy size ten body is much bigger and heavier than his ex-wife’s size zero figure. As much as she’d like to have Gunnar’s head between her thighs, she’s never once imagined it would be in the Estonian hold.

Agree she does, however, and soon Camille’s emotions are wrangled into more than just a sporting partnership. But when Gunnar’s ex returns to reclaim her man, will Camille bow out or will she fight for her right to be carried over the winning  threshold.

Image from Wikipedia, Author: Steve Jurvetson, Source:

I am seriously planning on writing this one so consider this a sneak peek at a future story from me.

Ok, so for fun, here’s a peek at the real deal:

Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.


Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

See all prior Regrettable Books of the Week HERE