Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “Alien in My Bed”
Today I have the second in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. You’ve seen them. They’re the books that scream “homemade” and just make you wanna cringe. The cover totally sucks, the author / publisher is taking herself waaaay too seriously, and/or the blurb / tagline is beyond ridiculous or is very poorly written.
This week, I thought I’d try a little sci-fi romance with:
Alien in My Bed
First the tagline:
“He came from light years away to give her extraterrestrial pleasure, but can Stella trust that Gork’s passion is because of the black hole of desire that drew him to her, or is she merely a fringe benefit of an interplanetary directive to seek and conquer?
The blurb:
Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but Stella’s had it with the ones who act like total jerks and then blame it on some stupid book. She’s ready to branch out into an entirely different solar system in search of everlasting love….but she’s speaking figuratively, isn’t she?
Gork has been sent from his home of Tattooink in a galaxy far, far away. His mission: find a planet with alien life forms capable of sustaining his species and their voracious sexual appetites.
When Gork crash lands in Stella’s pool, she has no idea she’s about to have a close encounter of the erotic kind, and that once she enters Gork’s sexual vortex, there will be no escaping. But is escape what she really wants or will she and her earthly sisters embrace a race like nothing ever produced on “Mars”, threatening very the existence of their own?
Lesson learned from last week: Notice the random male (humanoid) torso thrown in there? Yeah…I’m good. 😉
Stay tuned for the sequel, Alien Safeword: Nanu-Nanu coming in 2013 from Regrettable Publishing! nom-nom
Do you have ideas for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments! Cheers.
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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I happen to accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
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HAHAHAHA… I might have to think one up for you!
Would love to hear it! I’m sure your imagination could concoct something hilarious.
BWAHAHAHA – Nanu-Nanu! Oh yeah, floating torsos totally did it for me. You have me in the 70s mood with that reference so I’d love to see a M/M/M/F/M/M/M cover Village People style. 🙂
I know, right? Gotta have the nekkid man-titty or no ka-ching, ka-ching. Village People menage…totally LMAO at the mental visual of that! I’ll take the Indian!
Too funny. I think men from Tattooink could be a whole , way too long series. You are really on to something here! Which gives me an idea for your next publication … the never ending sequels based on wimpy women, bad men, Mardi Gras masks and nondescript color variations in the title.
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