Regrettable Book of the Week™ — "White"
Another book for my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
Let’s go for some pretentious minimalism today, shall we? Sort of like The Beatles White Album or Spinal Tap’s Black album (Nigel Tufts says, “How much blacker could it be? Answer. None.”) The line between genius and stupid is so very paper thin. Love those really vague blurbs that seem packed with tantalizing phrases, but collectively, they make no sense or it’s an homage to some obscure philosopher. To wit:
The Tagline:
Absence or infinity–one choice is all that separates them.
The blurb:
White light is all colors blended. A celestially crafted combination of an infinite number of components. White on canvas is the utter lack of color. Two polar extremes as white as the snow from the poles themselves. Two individuals as diametrically opposed as they are the same. The tangible vs. the intangible.
All is not as it seems.
Danger lurks at every corner.
Will she see it in time? Will he save her?
What secrets does the white canvas hold?
White.
Infinity.
White.
Nothingness.
Bliss or Destruction–only one choice separates them.
Do they dare make that choice?
The difference between all that could be and all that never was.
Huh? Ever read a blurb and think, “Either I am not smart enough to read this book or everyone else who claims it is so deep and wonderful is simply proclaiming the grandeur of the Emperor’s New Clothes”? Oh, but at least there’s a lot of sex in this one! Can’t you tell? 😉
Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.
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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
LMAO! Oh good, I’ve always wondered at these “literary masterpieces” that are so vague and purple-prosey. I might like a story that makes me think, but I don’t want to have to spend time figuring out what I just read to GET the story. I usually just throw those books out or use them for kindling in a campfire while reading something much more fun. 🙂
You are not alone, my dear! Thanks for dropping by to visit my lunacy. 🙂
You had me at…there’s a lot of sex in this one!
LOL! I have visions of a bunch of button-upped women sitting in a stuffy living room on book club night pondering the meaning of “White” when in the back of their minds they’re all dying to talk about Fifty Shades.
Heh-heh. I’m glad you read far enough to get that joke. Thanks!