Regrettable Book of the Week™ — "Bridezilla from Transylvania"

November 7, 2012

Today I have the seventh in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

So, combining bad reality TV with the ever popular vampire trope, we have:

First the tagline:

“Til Death Do Us Part isn’t nearly long enough!”

The blurb:

Romanian immigrant Nadia Belascu has met the American man of her dreams and is getting married. She can’t be happier as she plans the event of a lifetime–flowers, dress, limo, reception–until everything goes horribly, horribly wrong! A bachelorette party lands her in hot water with a thirsty vampire from her homeland. Now a vampire herself, Nadia is nevertheless determined to carry on with her wedding, even if it means hiding her new true self from her husband-to-be.

Not even over Vlad’s dead body is that going to happen. Nadia isn’t a random victim. She’s the One True Mate Vlad has been stalking for nearly a decade, the one he crossed an ocean for, waiting for his opportunity to finally claim and turn her. Vlad never let their differing schedules–she an early bird (BTB or Before The Bite), he a night owl–get in the way, and if the only means of finally winning Nadia’s love is to give her the elaborate wedding of her dreams, then by G** he’ll do it.

But Bridezillas don’t change their spotted reptilian skins just because their hearts stop beating. This Transylvanian bride-to-be has raised demanding diva hysterics to supernatural levels. Will Vlad be able to tame his bride before sharing a coffin or will a stake through the heart be the best wedding gift of all?

I think this could be rather funny even though it started off as a pretty lame idea in my earlier drafts. **Adds to her list of WIP ideas** Did you notice my photoshop attempt to combine the flowers photo with the vampire photo? I shopped in the bad makeup and blood too. No man-titty but there’s a bare SIM boob / wardrobe malfunction in there if you look closely. Heh! Don’t worry, I’m not quitting my day job any time soon.

Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so. I’ve got a couple of guest contributors warming up on the sidelines. More in the months ahead. Cheers.

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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.